>SAY YES STUPID. Specifically, say "Yes." Don't say "Yes, stupid." Oh god, that's the opposite of what we want to do.

You say "Yes," then thankfully cut yourself off before you say "stupid." You congratulate yourself when KATH THE HOT REDHEAD opens up the passanger door and says, "Get in then."

Unbidden, another piece of advice from your MOTHER comes to you (alongside "always look both ways" and "always wear clean underpants"): never accept rides from STRANGERS.

Now, you know her name and that she is a very HOT REDHEAD, but besides that, KATH is a STRANGER. For all you know, she could be a FOREIGN SPY and/or ALIEN -- you need to test her to make sure she is not a FOREIGN SPY and/or ALIEN.

(In your mind, if she fails the test, she will then applaud your deductive skills, admit to being a FOREIGN SPY and/or ALIEN, then explain that she is, in fact, a GOOD FOREIGN SPY and/or ALIEN, out to stop the rest of the FOREIGN SPIES and/or ALIENS and has chosen you to help her because of your excellent deductive skills. You know this is very far-fetched, but still: it would be awesome.)

"So," you say, ready to begin the test, "how about them...sports?" Suddenly, it occurs to you that, in fact, you know nothing about sports. A better test might have been knowing all the words to the Star-Spangled Banner, but the only ones you can remember are "dawn's early light." (You can be reasonably sure that you yourself are not a FOREIGN SPY and/or ALIEN, simply due to the fact that if you were, your life would be less boring.)

KATH THE HOT REDHEAD arches one eyebrow in a gesture that says three words and a question mark.

This has not gone as planned.

Directions are: NORTH, EAST, SOUTH, WEST, and SMOOTH MOVE REAL SMOOTH.

What do you want to do?