>STOP YOUR WORRYING AND OBEY HER ORDER, SHE SAID TO "GET IN."

Since she hasn't said anything, you think you can safely assume that your faux pas can be ignored. You get into KATH THE HOT REDHEAD'S CAR.

As cars go, it's comfortable. You think about nicknaming the CAR, but you realize that KATH might already have a name for it and you nicknaming it would be an even further faux pas. You also realize that you like the phrase faux pas. It's one of the few French phrases that's fun to say.

It's then that KATH THE HOT REDHEAD really starts driving the car. Quickling buckling your seatbelt (another lesson from MOM), you notice that KATH seems to drive like not only is there NO TOMORROW, but also if there is a tomorrow, she really really does not want to see it.

You close your eyes and ask, "So, about this lead you have?"

"Oh yeah," KATH says. "I'm a PI and I was investigating some corporate espionage between ISPs when I heard about it."

"Terrorists?" you tentatively ask. "Foreign spys? Aliens?"

"No," she says. "Worse: ELVES."

You think for a moment that you misheard her, that perhaps the speed of the car made her words come out differently. She didn't say ELVES, you rationalize, she said ELVIS. ELVIS has returned and stolen the internet. Yes, that must be it.

Of course, an UNDEAD ELVIS may or may not be worse that actual ELVES.

Directions are: NORTH, EAST, SOUTH, WEST, and YOU'RE INSIDE A MOVING VEHICLE YOU CAN'T GO IN ANY OF THOSE DIRECTIONS.

What do you want to do?